Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Dana Farber

John had an appointment at Dana Farber for a second opinion yesterday. Me, John and his sister went. Thank God to have a second pair of eyes and ears, besides John and me. Everyone knows once you enter a doctors office it is like sitting taking and exam. Every question or thought you had goes right out the window.

John met with this very informative doctor, Dr. Jacobsen is his name. He really shed light on the type of cancer John has and how it is being treated and why. I asked the doctor if he felt that his finding and the findings of Miriam Hospital were similar or the same. He said that his findings and the findings of Miriam Hospital are the same. However, this doctor sprung a bit of information on us that we were not prepared for. He told John yesterday he is going to need a bone marrow transplant. Dear Lord, what? I think that our mouths just dropped open. What? What? The doctor proceeded to explain: John would be treated with chemo 2x's a day, for 4 consecutive days. These large doses of chemotherapy and/or radiation are required to destroy the abnormal stem cells and abnormal blood cells. These therapies, however, not only kill the abnormal cells but can destroy normal cells found in the bone marrow as well. Similarly, aggressive chemotherapy used to treat some lymphomas and other cancers can destroy healthy bone marrow. A bone marrow transplant enables physicians to treat these diseases with aggressive chemotherapy and/or radiation by allowing replacement of the diseased or damaged bone marrow after the chemotherapy/radiation treatment. While bone marrow transplants do not provide 100 percent assurance that the disease will not recur, a transplant can increase the likelihood of a cure or at least prolong the period of disease-free survival for many patients.

John would need to be in the hospital at Dana Farber for 3 weeks!
There was so much information to absorb, so much to think about all in one day.
This procedure for John as not an option, he would need to have this transplant done.
Very scary. So many things were twirling around in my mind, a lot of "what if" What if it doesn't work? What if something goes wrong? The ride home was full of of questions, all so much to wrap my head around. I just wanted to get home with John and talk to him and see how he really felt. I know he must be scared, I am scared for him. I am sure he is so over this disease already. And again, why him? Why him? Out of all the people, why him? Life is just so unfair. My Mom would always say "God only gives you as much as you can handle" Really? I can say for myself, I have had my share, I don't want or need anymore tragedy in my life. Enough!
My poor John, I really hope this treatment does it's magic and makes this freakin' cancer GO AWAY! Tomorrow, chemo treatment, and PET SCAN. We will definately be having a conversation with his present doctor. Dr. Castillo. I want to know why we were never informed about this bone marrow transplant, and why wasn't there a meeting set up to discuss John's options after he completed his treatments? Very frustrating for John and for me. I am hoping tomrrow is a good day, please Lord, let it be a good day.

I miss JohnnyP. I get glimpses of him here and there, some days I forget he is sick....and then I wake up. My heart aches for him...I am angry for him....I love him so...please let him get get better....I miss him....

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Cathie,

I truly feel for both of you. You are both such genuine soals, how could this disease possibly find it's way to John?? I don't think that question will ever be answered. What I do know is that between the love that you have for each other and the support you will have from friends and family, you WILL get through this. It might not seem it now, but you just watch, next June we'll all be walking the track together at Relay for Life remembering this time and saying "Cancer isn't going to get the best of us...!!!"... I love you both!!!! Stay strong, I'm here if you need me!!!